feministlilyevans: This is a picture of part of Arthur Pendragon's armor (Arthur Pendragon)
I'm feeling really anxious.

I told myself that I wanted to get all of my college apps done by Christmas. The problem is, I still have three left to do and I just don't think I can get all of them done. Especially because all of them have supplements, and Columbia has seven, which just... Jesus.

And now I'm stressing because I made this promise to myself, but I also don't want to rush my applications and fuck them up. I do, y'know, WANT to get into school.

Ughhhh.

I guess I'll get my parents' opinions. I am leaning towards not churning out nine supplemental essays.

Why did I do this to myself?

I guess we'll see what happens there. On the bright side, I have an idea for a Haven fic for fandom-stocking. I want to try and get some stuff written for that before reveals.
feministlilyevans: This is Taylor Swift holding her head in her hands. (Taylor Swift)
I last updated this blog in August, when... things were different, I guess. For one thing, it was still summer break and I hadn't really had to come to terms with the fact that I'm a senior. A senior! Me! Ridiculous.

I'm... I'm confused, I guess. I keep a journal and write there a lot but for some reason this seems like something I would rather put on the internet in the hopes that some stranger sees it and sheds some light on the reason I feel like this. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's a side effect of being a teenager.

So, here goes some honesty that is probably arranged really weirdly:

1. Theater is performative and I do a lot of it. I do so much and play so many different roles (not just characters; I play a lot of roles in the community) that sometimes I forget where I end and theater begins. It is very weird to not know who you are all of the time because you can't tell yourself apart from the character you've been playing daily for three months. But then again, I guess I've played the character of myself for seventeen years.

2. I really hate my IB philosophy class. I really, really hate it. But dropping it seems like failure. I've never dropped a class. I switched from photography to theater on the first day of school freshman year, but that's the closest I've come.

3. One of my friends went through some Shit that she never really told me about, and now she's moved and I am relatively certain that I'm never gonna see her again.

4. I haven't slept past 6:30 for a month.

So, I guess that topped with a nice dose of anxiety is why I've been stressing. It's nice to just get it out there. Thanks, internet. I'll be back with a nice dose of grudgewank soon.

welp

Aug. 19th, 2015 01:11 pm
feministlilyevans: This is Taylor Swift holding her head in her hands. (Default)
so I'm being a total asshole and I'm posting another entry right after the first and not even going to discuss fandom history. plus I'm posting this from mobile, which I assume makes this look ten thousand times worse. anyway, this post is basically just a "hit me up with any fandom drama you come across."
so yeah, I'm gonna try and do some research today and get back to this blog with some hISTORAAAYYY

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feministlilyevans: This is Taylor Swift holding her head in her hands. (Default)
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