Sep. 26th, 2015

feministlilyevans: This is Taylor Swift holding her head in her hands. (Taylor Swift)
I last updated this blog in August, when... things were different, I guess. For one thing, it was still summer break and I hadn't really had to come to terms with the fact that I'm a senior. A senior! Me! Ridiculous.

I'm... I'm confused, I guess. I keep a journal and write there a lot but for some reason this seems like something I would rather put on the internet in the hopes that some stranger sees it and sheds some light on the reason I feel like this. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's a side effect of being a teenager.

So, here goes some honesty that is probably arranged really weirdly:

1. Theater is performative and I do a lot of it. I do so much and play so many different roles (not just characters; I play a lot of roles in the community) that sometimes I forget where I end and theater begins. It is very weird to not know who you are all of the time because you can't tell yourself apart from the character you've been playing daily for three months. But then again, I guess I've played the character of myself for seventeen years.

2. I really hate my IB philosophy class. I really, really hate it. But dropping it seems like failure. I've never dropped a class. I switched from photography to theater on the first day of school freshman year, but that's the closest I've come.

3. One of my friends went through some Shit that she never really told me about, and now she's moved and I am relatively certain that I'm never gonna see her again.

4. I haven't slept past 6:30 for a month.

So, I guess that topped with a nice dose of anxiety is why I've been stressing. It's nice to just get it out there. Thanks, internet. I'll be back with a nice dose of grudgewank soon.

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feministlilyevans: This is Taylor Swift holding her head in her hands. (Default)
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